The Cowboy's Twin Surprise Read online

  Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

  “Birdie?”

  The older woman cleared her throat. “I…I had a daughter.”

  A quiver of horror shot through Jessie as her hand flew to her mouth. What fresh wounds had she opened with a careless question? “Oh, Birdie, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “No, it’s all right.” She hesitated, raising a hand to her cheek. “I couldn’t talk about her for the longest time. But I’m better now. Violet passed away when she was just nineteen.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Jessie’s heart pounded; her throat tightened. She would never have brought up the subject, if only she’d known. She tenderly touched Birdie’s arm. “How I wish Chase had told me.”

  The housekeeper paused, her eyes flooding with tears as she clearly struggled with emotions. Jessie swallowed hard and waited for her friend to find her voice.

  “Honestly, it’s good to say her name again. I rarely hear it mentioned anymore.” Birdie’s mouth curved into a sad smile. “Violet was my treasure.”

  The anguish of the awful moment engulfed Jessie. Not long ago she’d been terrified by her unexpected pregnancy. How would she handle it? But her heart had quickly quieted. Softened. Filled with love for little Peanut, who was part of her life. Her thoughts; her dreams; her hopes. In fact, she could not imagine the future without this baby. But uncertainty washed over her. Birdie had suffered the ultimate loss, and of all the things Jessie had worried about, that hadn’t crossed her mind.

  Birdie pulled a tissue from the pocket of her sweater. “I know not every woman feels this way about motherhood. I mean, look at Charlotte. She didn’t even stick around to raise these precious babies. But for me? Being a mom?” She offered a simple shrug. “There’s nothing like it. Nothing in this whole wide world.” She wiped at her watery eyes.

  Jessie hugged her arms to her stomach as fear cast its chilling shadow. “Even with the heartache?”

  Birdie nodded. “Even with. I’m thankful for every moment we had together.” Leaning forward, she affectionately kissed one tiny blonde head and then the other. “I’m going home. It’s been a long day.” She squeezed Jessie’s shoulder gently. “Good night, sweetie.”

  “Good night,” she whispered and leaned in for a warm hug. Their first of many to come, Jessie hoped. She had much to learn about being a mom from this strong woman…and precious little time to do it.

  Chapter Nine

  Trying not to wake the babies, Jessie closed the nursery door carefully as she heard the dog’s nails clacking against the hardwood floor. “Barlow, do you need to go out?” she whispered.

  Heading downstairs, she slipped on boots, grabbed her coat, and opened the door to brave the elements. A raw wintry blast sent a chill through her. She reached for her scarf and gloves. “C’mon, boy. Let’s go.”

  Trudging through the snow in the yard, she waited until Barlow found a fencepost he liked. Inhaling the refreshing cold air deep into her lungs, she then slowly exhaled. What an evening it had been.

  “Poor Birdie. Why did I have to ask such a needless question?”

  She jerked her head toward a sudden sound of crunching snow to see Chase approaching in the darkness.

  “What question?” he asked.

  “I didn’t know you were out here,” she said, hesitant to explain. “I didn’t even hear the front door open.”

  “Guess not. Or you wouldn’t be talking to yourself, would you?” He jammed bare hands into his jacket pockets. “Haven’t heard you do that much lately.”

  “I’m trying to break the habit.” She shrugged in a deliberately hopeless gesture. “My pitiful attempt at self-improvement.”

  “Hmm,” he responded. “I kinda miss it.”

  He’d noticed? That surprised her. She tucked her scarf in around her neck. “Miss the insight into my soul, eh?”

  “Something like that.” He kicked his boot against a clump of snow.

  Then Chase stepped closer, and Jessie breathed in the woodsy, masculine scent of his cologne. He smelled so appealing, so familiar, so…so something she couldn’t even articulate. It was all she could do not to reach for him. Thankfully, the dog barked at some distraction in the distance.

  Whew. Saved from complete humiliation.

  She turned her focus to Barlow, who had finished his business and plodded back to her side. Miserable regret nagged at her. She hated the thought of Birdie’s rekindled sorrow, knowing her question had caused it.

  “Chase, why didn’t you tell me?”

  He tipped his head. “Tell you what?”

  “About Violet.”

  Even through the dark of night, she could see his countenance change. He looked a little stunned. Speechless, even.

  She folded her arms together, fighting the chill. “I asked Birdie if she had children.”

  “Ooh…” He groaned and lifted his hat, raking a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I should have warned you.” Then he stared down at the ground, obviously avoiding her gaze.

  “I wish you had. I feel terrible about bringing up such a painful memory.”

  He rubbed his forehead for a moment. “How did she handle it?”

  “It hurt, obviously. She was pretty teary-eyed. I felt so badly for her. But she said it was good to say Violet’s name again. She rarely hears it mentioned anymore.”

  Chase gazed out over snow-covered acreage.

  She couldn’t help but notice his sudden stillness. This wasn’t just a troubling subject for Birdie. That horrific loss all those years ago seemed to have a tangible, palpable effect on everyone. Still.

  She took a quiet breath. “You two were close?”

  “Yes,” he admitted in an unsteady voice. “We grew up together around here. Birdie has been working with my family since before I was born, and she homeschooled Violet here in between all the cooking, cleaning, and duties at the lodge.” He cleared his throat harshly. “We spent a lot of time together when we were young.”

  Something seemed off. His feelings, too deep, too raw. After all this time? Her heart pounded a bit harder. “So…Violet was a good friend?” she asked hesitantly, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

  “The best.”

  Jessie swallowed hard. “And more?”

  His gaze met hers. “Violet was my wife.”

  She stepped backward, raising a hand to her throat. “You were married?” Her mind raced with questions. When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me? And the question of all questions. Do you still love her?

  “I should have told you.”

  She raised both hands to her face, still reeling from the news. “But you must have been young. I mean, if she was—”

  “We were in our late teens when she was diagnosed.”

  “So you were just kids?” She squinted, confused by his words.

  He glanced over his shoulder toward the house. “Birdie went home for the night?”

  Was he intentionally dodging the question? “She left over an hour ago.”

  “We should go in and check on the girls.”

  “They’re sleeping. They’re fine,” she replied and waited what seemed like forever. To hear what? That his heart belonged to someone else? Taken long ago, never to be free again? Not that it should matter but…

  “Chase?”

  He knelt in the snow. To pet Barlow. To avoid her gaze. Maybe both.

  “When we found out how sick Violet was, she admitted she was in love with me. She had always loved me. Had hoped for a future with me on the ranch and a passel of kids, as Birdie liked to say.” His mouth turned up in a bittersweet smile. “I don’t know how I missed it. I must have been blind.” He stood and dusted snow from his jeans.

  Barlow headed toward the front door as Jessie waited in excruciating silence. Her heart ached beyond reason. Drawing in her lower lip, she held back the dozen questions circling around in her head.

  “Then word came she wasn’t going to recover. She’d never have a husband, kids, or a
life beyond that illness. It nearly killed Birdie, my mother was a wreck, and Charlotte was devastated. Everyone was suffering, most of all Violet. I didn’t know how to deal with it. The only thing I could do, the only thing I could offer was to give her as much of that dream of hers as possible. So I asked her to marry me.” He hesitated, clearing his throat roughly. “After a private ceremony in the hospital chapel, we were able to have her home here for the last few days.”

  “I am so sorry.” She placed a hand tenderly on his arm, knowing it did nothing to relieve the agonizing memories. “I shouldn’t have—”

  “It was a long time ago,” he responded in a quiet voice. “I think she had some happy moments. She felt loved. That’s what we all wanted.”

  Jessie raised a hand to her breaking heart. “That’s the kindest thing I’ve ever heard.” She blinked back stinging tears.

  “No.” He shook his head. “It just felt right.”

  She was falling. That’s what felt right. Helplessly, hopelessly. Tumbling down, further and further. In love? Like never before. Never mind she was carrying someone else’s baby. Never mind she’d thought so wrongly about this man for all those years. Her misjudgments of him were incalculable.

  She closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling slowly the wonderful scent of his cologne and then breathing out into the frosty night air. Looking away, she tucked strands of hair behind her ears. “Those boots in the closet? Violet’s?”

  He nodded. “I’m surprised Birdie was ready to let them go, but it’s a good sign. I’m glad to see her happy again after all she’s lost. She adores the twins. They bring a lot of excitement to this place.” Chase tugged gently on a lock of her hair. “And she’s very fond of you, now she knows you’re a lawyer she can trust.”

  “I like her, too. So very much.” Then, in a bolder move than she was used to, she slipped her arm through his and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Were you and Violet the same age?”

  “Yes, nineteen when she passed.”

  “Wait a minute.” She straightened and pulled away, staring at him in near disbelief. “You were nineteen. That’s about the time I moved away.” An odd sense of relief swept over her as a small detail that had always bothered her suddenly made sense. “I had to spend another year around here working and saving money before I left for college. And I wondered if maybe my brother Jonas had been wrong about you. I let it be known that I wouldn’t mind a second chance…but you never asked.” She paused. “That’s about the time you were getting married?”

  He nodded. “Very few people knew. And I couldn’t explain it. Not without betraying Violet.”

  “I’ve thought all these years you weren’t interested. Remember the first time you asked me out, and I turned you down? I thought your invitation back then was just a tease, a dare by those friends of yours,” she admitted, feeling the sting of old emotions all over again. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “At least, Jonas said that’s the only reason someone like you would ask out a girl like me.”

  “A girl like you? What’s that supposed to mean? Leave it to your brother to think up something despicable,” he practically growled under his breath.

  She wagged a finger in the air. “But you were one of the most popular guys in school. And I was a total misfit. Too tall, too skinny, unruly wild red curls.” She pulled on a wispy lock. “Not the typical, multiple blonde cheerleaders you usually had by your side. Why would you want to date me?”

  “It was simple,” he replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I liked you.”

  Had she heard him correctly? Could it have been that simple?

  “But I was the proverbial girl from the wrong side of the tracks.”

  “I didn’t see any tracks, Jess.” He searched her eyes. “I just saw you.”

  She blinked back the sting of tears. But Jonas made her believe he was a jerk, just playing with her. Her mind reeled; her throat thickened; her heart hurt.

  She had to get away, to go inside, somewhere, anywhere before she went right over that cliff. Longing to kiss this man, moments after learning about his late wife, seemed almost reprehensible. And yet, she wanted exactly that—to be in his arms, to feel his mouth on hers. Was that what she’d always wanted?

  Even the day she’d left town years ago, heading toward a new life, it hadn’t been without a wistful look back at what might have been. She’d seen Chase that afternoon, coming out of the local farm supply store across the street. He could have called to her, acknowledged her presence. Asked her to give him a chance. She would have stopped and listened. But he hadn’t. And it had taken all these years to discover the reason.

  What kind of a person am I? Distrusting a man like this? Jealous of a woman who died?

  He cleared his throat again and extended an arm. “C’mon, Jess. Let’s go in before Barlow freezes to that front step.”

  She reached instinctively for the hand offered, fitting her fingers through his in the cold night—and wanted never to let go.

  Chapter Ten

  Jessie placed both girls in the middle of the large, braided rug. Barlow jumped up from his usual place in front of the sofa and claimed a spot not far from the babies, his tail thumping against the floor.

  “Okay, kids. Playtime.” But Daisy crawled toward the dog, and Poppy scrambled the opposite direction.

  “Girls, girls, where are you going?” Jessie softly blew a puff of air, moving bangs from her eyes just as the family pet licked Daisy’s forehead. “No, Barlow, don’t.” She shooed him away, but the little girl tipped sideways, giggling and clapping her hands together.

  It had been a long day. Jessie was tired, and this activity certainly wasn’t going as planned. A nice, long nap sounded heavenly. But that was not even remotely possible.

  “Come here, Barlow.” Birdie entered from the kitchen, and her firm tone drew the dog’s attention in her direction. She tossed a biscuit at the collie’s feet. “Be a good boy.” Then she handed off a stack of nesting measuring cups to Jessie before scooping up Poppy and setting her back down on the rug.

  Jessie breathed in the mouthwatering aroma of dinner while spreading the brightly colored cups across the blanket. “Something smells delicious. Roast beef?”

  “Yep, with plenty of vegetables and buttermilk biscuits.” Birdie joined them on the floor, sending Daisy scurrying into her lap. “Those cups are plastic, so they won’t hurt their gums too much if they chew on them. Might even help with the teething and all the crying that comes with it.”

  “Let’s hope. C’mon, girls. Look. Time to stack.” Jessie grinned. She loved seeing the progress the twins were making. They caught on so easily to new things. The challenge was coming up with interesting games for them to play.

  Poppy grabbed a measuring cup in each hand, nearly falling over in the process, and smacked them together with cheery delight.

  “Good noisemakers, too,” she remarked. “Let’s stack them. Okay? This is red. Let’s put red down here first because it’s the biggest. Now blue goes inside it.” She slipped the plastic cup inside the first one. Daisy picked up the yellow one near her feet and chewed on the handle. “No, sweetie, let’s put yellow inside blue. Okay? Then green. Like your socks. See all the colors? Red, blue, yellow, green.” She smoothed little Daisy’s hair from her eyes before she looked over at always playful Poppy, who was tugging at her toes. Jessie’s heart sank. “That knot on Poppy’s head looks even worse now than it did this morning. It’s already starting to turn purple.”

  “Yeah, it’s about the same color as that flowery top you’re wearing. And it’s gonna be a while before it goes away.” Birdie scooted Daisy over to the side, stood, and shook out her apron. “I’ll be back in a minute. I need to check the pot roast and potatoes. Almost time to eat. Chase will not be happy when he comes in for dinner and sees her. Especially when it dawns on him he’s to blame.”

  Jessie agreed. “Girls, your uncle is going to feel awful when he realizes he didn’t latch th
at baby gate this morning on his way through the mudroom.” She stroked Poppy’s soft cheek, remembering the tearful event. “A tumble down a step or two is a pretty big deal when you’re so tiny, isn’t it, sweetie?”

  “He shouldn’t have been in such a rush getting out of here,” Birdie griped. “He’s usually very careful with anything concerning those two little girls. They are the apple of his eye, I’ll tell ya. I’ve never seen him happier than when he’s looking after those babies. Of course, having you around isn’t hurting anything either.” The housekeeper winked.

  She bit her lower lip. I sure hope that’s true. But Birdie has a way of embellishing things at times…

  “When Milo called early this morning, he seemed very concerned,” Jessie commented. “That’s why Chase was in such a hurry. He said there was a section of fence down and several horses had wandered off.”

  “Those horses are pretty doggone important around here,” Birdie replied as she headed toward the kitchen. “I don’t deny that. I hope he got them rounded up before we lost any.”

  Barlow raised his head and barked loudly.

  “Yes, yes, you’re pretty doggone important, too. Aren’t ya, boy?” Birdie stopped to pat the canine’s head. “But Chase still should have been more careful. That’s a nasty little fall Twinny took. I’ll bet she nearly cried her eyes out.”

  “She did, but she seems fine now.” Jessie gathered up the measuring cups. “Hey, I’m curious. How come she’s Twinny?”

  “I guess ’cause Daisy is older by a few minutes. I called Poppy that the first time I saw her at the hospital, and the nickname stuck.” A short, quick whistle brought the family pet alongside. “Come to the kitchen with me, boy. We’ll be back in a minute.”

  The twins jabbered merrily to one another while Jessie picked up the measuring cups and gave them a gentle toss toward the babies. “C’mon girls. Let’s stack them one more time. Then we’ll get ready for supper.”